King Lear and 'an ordinary old man'

Every old man is a King Lear, said Goethe once. But I would rather say, Every old man must be a King Lear.

It is in fact painful to see if an old man is a King Lear half a way and very much an ordinary man , rest his life. I don't know if it was good to read literature. Literature, out a way, did nothing good to me. I keep on meeting Symbols on my way, finding parallels hopelessly and remembering experiences from revered poet's and writer's works. Every day looking at my granddad the lines echo in my ears - 'where palsy shakes a few sad last gray hairs.' or 'when you are old and gray and full of sleep.' What good it is to be alive and be dependent. But I think of King Lear often. It is good to be alive if you are going to have some realizations.

But 'an ordinary old man' is one who : Like King Lear, has lots of Ego, has Dreams for old age, has few good friends, misunderstands one of his child, experiences Ingratitude on other's part and is doomed to a dark fate. And Unlike King Lear , he is thoughtless, repeating mistakes, doesn't realize his mistakes till ends.

Only if 'an ordinary old man' was a King Lear , he would be , in spite of his Ordinariness , 'every inch a King'. Sometimes it is irritating to be with an old man and more because you have read poets and writers about old age , that they disliked being old and they still have immortal yearnings and poetical thirst of knowledge. It is irritating when you are full of Lofty thoughts about old age and what all you get at the end is 'an ordinary old man' dying 'an ordinary death.' You realize you lived in a different world of poetry and imaginations. Because the old age reflected in poetry is still some graceful than the old age seen in reality, let alone experiencing it.

It seems King Lear doesn't exist these days. The towering figure, every inch a king, with capacity to bear the Ingratitude and Storm and a courage to Die... when the reason to live has died.

It is, good to know when to quit Gracefully. 

Between and Beyond : An Impression of two movies - The Piano and The Reader

I deliberately chose a movie. It turned out to be The Piano. I liked something in it at the first glance, I don't know what it was. But I chose a terrible day to watch it. I must confess, I was already lost that day and I couldn't get much out of the movie. The next day early in the morning when the sky was quite blue, blue like the ocean, the movie slowly came upon me. Every scene began to roll in my head and as if I were a Piano myself, knots began to play in me.

No, I am not allowed to be poetic here. For the more prosaic side, I would say, the movie reminded me of another compelling story, The Reader (2008). Why? I guess you would know it only if you watch both movies with a long forgetful gap in between.

To quote IMBD summary of The Reader, " Post-WWII Germany: Nearly a decade after his affair with an older woman came to a mysterious end, law student Michael Berg re-encounters his former lover as she defends herself in a war-crime trial. " Well it is about love. Love which creeps you in a strange way. It creeps you in through a dark passage of desire, passion and anything but Platonic Love.

And the summary of The Piano goes like this , " A mute woman along with her young daughter, and her prized piano, are sent to 1850s New Zealand for an arranged marriage to a wealthy landowner, and she's soon lusted after by a local worker on the plantation. " (IMBD)

Lust? Is it the keyword? But it isn't just Lust - 

George Baines: Ada, I'm unhappy. 'Cause I want you. 'Cause my mind has seized on you and can think of nothing else. This is why I've suffered. I am sick with longing. I don't eat, I don't sleep. So, if you have come with no feeling for me, then go. Go. Go. Get out. Leave!  (The Piano)

I feel am quite powerless to say about both movies. But I do feel about them, I feel about them differently. I read them through my colored senses. And all I read is - Passion. Whether for Piano, a quest to one's own voice or for Letters, uneasiness over one's mortal flaw. Have you ever been ashamed of something? So much so that you put your life in brackets? The Reader is a story of such a character who prefers confinement to reveal a shameful secret - that she can not Read. 

The crux of both movies is love and yet it is not just the love. The movies revolve around strong Female characters who can just not let go of something so Precious, though they can let go of anything else. Ada, in The Piano, let go of her Self, allows Baines to ... do something with her while she plays the Piano. It is a deal. But isn't it more than a deal? One finds the answer when Ada , after he has returned her Piano, being restless, goes to Baines, only to Slap him hard and submit herself again, this time Unconditionally. The Reader is more complex to understand. I watched it perhaps an year or two back. And now I realize I hadn't understood much at that time. 

The human quality and touchiness of both the movies is just enough to make you leave in trance. And when in this trance the words like Lust and Love echo in your mind, you know it, you know there is something between the Lust and Love - something between and beyond...

Howard's End

There can be no perfect season for watching a movie than , when you are ill. It is the most refreshing thing to bring sunshine upon your gloomy day. And especially when you are all by yourself. So today I watched Howard's End, based on the novel by E.M.Forster. Not as promising as A Passage to India , but it was a good one time watch movie. Specially for the sake of nice story and its Wonderful Setting.

Its strange, my love for England even goes back to the days I didn't know what England exactly is. I knew only one name London, which fascinated me a lot. England's landscape has an air of romance but deep gloom, a mysterious combination indeed. Whether you watch Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre or Howard's End - where British landscape comes to its fullest charm, you would find an unflinching gloom hanging over. May be its climate, but may be its much more. May be its the sense of inevitable Tragedy that looms over...?

Though Howard's End does not end tragically, you don't feel very happy in the end. However ends the story - there is always a sense of tragedy deep beneath. Be it Howard's End, Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. Although all three of them ends on a happy note - that end was built up on such a sharp edge of tragedy that only you remember is, something remarkable happened - beyond Happiness or Tragic.

a still from "Howard's End"

a still from "Howard's End"

The Dirty Picture - A Re-view is always Necessary

Just watched The Dirty Picture. Should have watched it earlier. The first thought during the movie was - "wish could watch such a movie everyday". No I am Serious .

If she had been a part of my life, I would not be able to bear Silk for a moment. But who isn't Silk in the dark... in the very very dark of her hearts? Let me tell you her problem - she is a danger-est , if its superlative is allowed, combination of Desires , Talent and Confidence.



The movie has one achievement - you can not either appreciate or criticize Vidya's character. If you appreciate - you are a hypocrite. If you are criticizing , you are a fool. And still more - she leaves you in hangover, showing both her sides, the dark one more sharply, you feel worthless as a judge.

The movie has two souls. One resides in the powerful Acting of Vidya Balan who definitely deserves accolades for it and another is in the Dialog. Every dialog of the movie was a hit or say did hit - hit all those writers, makers and viewers out there.

All of this crap I wrote above there, I couldn't say what I actually wanted to. Anyway. Only a few eluding words would do for now -

The desires whisper their each breathe
In the crevices of her Silk sierra ... 

Black Swan

>>> 1
I just want to be perfect. (Nina)


The Black Swan, a psychotically nightmarish movie, is directed by Derran Aronofsky. The story Line of the Black Swan goes like this , " Nina (Portman) is a ballerina in a New York City ballet company whose life, like all those in her profession, is completely consumed with dance. She lives with her obsessive former ballerina mother Erica (Hershey) who exerts a suffocating control over her. When artistic director Thomas Leroy (Cassel) decides to replace prima ballerina Beth MacIntyre (Ryder) for the opening production of their new season, Swan Lake, Nina is his first choice. But Nina has competition: a new dancer, Lily (Kunis), who impresses Leroy as well. Swan Lake requires a dancer who can play both the White Swan with innocence and grace, and the Black Swan, who represents guile and sensuality. Nina fits the White Swan role perfectly but Lily is the personification of the Black Swan. As the two young dancers expand their rivalry into a twisted friendship, Nina begins to get more in touch with her dark side - a recklessness that threatens to destroy her. Written by Fox Searchlight Pictures  " ( IMBD )




In every synopsis they keep referring to the 'dark side'. But what is this? Everyone knows what the White Swan is for. But what about the Black Swan? Is it like Typical Black and Evil? I don't think so. The Black here doesn't refer to the bad and evil. Black Swan is a symbol of desires. The desire may not be Dark always. It can be anything. Like, a wish to be the Swan Queen. The White Swan is beautiful, fragile, shy, fearful. It would want to become the Swan Queen but at the same time, feel guilty about Taking someone else's place. 

Black Swan is Id - the desires. White Swan is Super Ego - the control and discipline. White Swan says to itself - Behave Yourself. While The Black Swan says - Live a Little. White Swan wants to be Perfect but it is not possible until it recognizes its Twin, the Black Swan. Because Perfection requires Amalgamation of Both the Sides of your Being. 

"Perfection is not just about control. It's also about letting go. Surprise yourself so you can surprise the audience. Transcendence. And very few have it in them. " 

Hats Off - To Andres Heinz who wrote the original screenplay "The Understudy" , on which the Black Swan is based.

P.S. - If I would go on talking about it , I would land somewhere else. The movie has terribly changed something in me. I feel the kind of Second Birth thing with me. If someday, I get a chance to make a movie, it would be like Black Swan. 

Kahani - Beneath the Story and more...

Did you ever wonder how often you make up stories around you? Sometimes to feel good and most of the times to escape from reality. And sometimes you make them for something good. To release yourself or To get yourself again.

I just watched a splendidly movie, Kahani,  starring Vidya Balan. If you are expecting me to talk about movie's story I am sorry you will be disappointed. Actually there is nothing much in the story. It is a kind of a puzzle game. But if you look beneath the story you will find the essence there.

God must have had a story in His mind before creating Adam. He must have all in His mind. About Satan's revolt, Eve's mistake, Fall from Grace and motion of the World. He is the Greatest Story Maker. Man , since he is born of God's part, has the same quality since the beginning. Story telling is among the oldest Arts. It is a human nature. Whatever we speak about,  is our side of story and unknowingly we weave an intricate web of stories around us.

But what if it is about the Stories you tell to yourself rather than to others? Things become quite complicated. The Stories begin to weave you. They begin to take your place and control your whole being. And when you try to run away from them they follow you and... its a never ending game. But once you realize , which is very challenging, that they are the stories which play a vital role in taking care of your healthy social life, you create some Distance and Adjust the version of story according to your Real Life.

Such made up stories are good as long as you are at distance. They help you to reach, what you deserve. Sometimes you get emotionally attached to the Made up story. Sometimes in spite of knowing the fact it is a made-up story, you face a dilemma, you feel guilty about ditching the character of Made-up story. You feel somewhere deep inside you are in wrong.

 It is like- You are intimate with a close friend in spite of knowing the fact s/he is not your Love or would be. Intimacy is 'Hell' not wrong and specially when it is not Fake. But you are convinced that it is. And so you keep feeling guilty about it.

Everything said above is also a Story. Since its not a universal truth which is same for everyone. Its an experience. You might have experienced it or not. But the truth is - sometimes you have to Anti-Condition or Condition yourself because not everything is conditioned by situations or society and whatever is, does not always reflect your personal Truth.

Kahani

Creating Happiness Around - on fav TV Characters

I tried a lot, I don't know why, but I tried not to love TV serials and their characters, one-side of still developing Brain forced me not to waste my time on silly serials. But finally I have accepted that I can't help but fall in love with stories and characters around me. Few such characters are -

1. Khushi Kumari Gupta "Singh Raizada' (from Is Pyar ko kya Naam doon? on Star Plus)-

She is a girl who is fun to observe but yesterday suddenly I found her inspirational. In spite of extreme adversary situations, she decides to play Holi and tries (TRIES) to create happiness around. She is very innocent and an ardent believer of goodness. She is always prepared for - one more fight and yet she is so childlike that with her innocence she wins everyone's hearts.

* No need to say that I find the hero of the serial , Arnav Singh Raizada, dashing, attractive and completely a character who is - You can Love me, Hate me, But can't Ignore me. ;)

2. Priya Sharma Kapoor (from Bade Acche lagte hain on Sony TV) -



Now! since the serial has begun, everyone around me has complemented (at least to me its a complement) that Priya is my replica. Too many things are common between us. For example, Scholar of English Literature, dedicated to and love for family, stopped dreaming about future, adjusting, sacrificing, sensitive, thinks a lot, ready to fight :P Alright enough sugar-coating the self. :P
Priya Sharma is a girl who has no aspirations for herself. She is always thinks of her family first. Even her marriage is a compromise to make her family happy, but she is lucky, she falls in love with her husband. She knows, she recognizes when the Love knocks her door. Again, 'Creating Happiness Around' is her mantra like Khushi. And to be true, may be not in every sense, but still in many, I identify myself with her. For instance, her father's view about her fits on me too, ' Priya chhoti chhoti cheezon me khushi dhundh leti hai' (She finds happiness in little things of life.)

Other characters like Gopi from Saath Nibhana Saathiya and Radhika from Chhoti Bahu seems to me the Type characters. There is rarely any conflict but if there is  it is too remote that one can not easily identify with it. Radhika was an earthly character in the beginning of the serial but she is made too unearthly now. She has won evils of the numdane world with her devotion and Bhakti of Krishna. Coincidently Gopi is too devoted to Krishna but she is too innocent and it is her only weapon in this evil world.

Again, when I say I am attracted to Khushi and Priya, its very psychological. Either I identify myself with them or unconsciously I want to become like them, especially in the case of Khushi. Khushi is an extrovert which I was never in my life. So watching  these characters is a kind of a psychological need for me. Aw that's too obvious isn't it. :) But I guess need to vomit out this fact was another psychological need for me.
Anyway, with another side of TVserials, that they are stretched to an intolerable limit, makes you weary. But till you are fed well and healthy, feed on. 

A Thousand Splendid Suns

"Learn this now and learn it well, my daughter : Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always. You remember that, Mariam." 

A good story is never good until it carries universal truth, or at least a learned truth.

The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini were on my list from long. But I believe 'a time' comes for all things on the earth, for all dreams, there is a time. And finally few days ago, I picked up the later one. The war was a distant thing in my mind until I read the somber account of Afganistan War and the way the lives of two women turned upside down. Loss is as much a reality as Life and Love. After reading the story , I feel a kind of guilty and ashamed for I had enjoyed making up stories of loss and deaths in my mind. It was stupidly sadistic.
The story is undoubtedly impressive and interesting and one obvious thing that makes it so is , a gleam of Hope, that shines unflinchingly throughout the novel. Optimism is contagious. And moreover, it is today's Necessity.

The title is taken from a poem composed by Saeb-e-Tabrizi, a Seventeenth century Persian poet. The original lines are translated in English by Dr. Josephine Davis and they are so beautiful.

One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls.

A thousand splendid suns, a hope unflinching, Mariam finds peace in the eternal words of Koran , " Allah is the East and the West, therefore where ever you turn there is Allah's purpose." These words also help sustaining hope in her utterly hopeless life.How ironical, when Mariam gets pregnant she recites these words and thinks that God brought her here for He had reserved this gift for her. Only towards the end she gets to understand that the real purpose of her life and the reason why Allah brought her in Kabul, in Rashid's life, in Laila's life was something more pious and more grave. ...so seeking the purpose of our life is an innocent act of mere ignorance. Just having faith in God and his purposes is significant.

P.S. Looking forward to grab a copy of The Kite Runner.

The Notebook

My Notebook - I have got this freelancing job, so called. I don't like it. Not a speck of it. Why not to read blogs, stories, about authors or write myself than to write about ***damn cars n mobile which are never going to be mine.

Alright but this blog was supposed to be about the movie, The Notebook, not about my Notebook ... anyway :)
I watched The Notebook yesterday, a movie based on the novel written by Nicholas Sparks. Apart from all that was beautiful in the movie, there was something striking. Or at least it struck me. In the beginning the hero says to the girl , there is something curious about you... you are Free. "Yes I am Free", replies the girl.

Oh the girl wouldn't be confused between Noah and Lon if she were free. No one is free in this world. Everyone is chained by his/her convictions, principles, fears and so on...


But there will be no beauty in life if one is clear in his/her mind. The struggle, the conflicts between heart and mind, society and individual makes most stories wonderful and lives too... :)

when Love happens - MOD

When something really troubles me... something that can't be shaken off easily...something that doesn't have a name or shape... I either begin a new novel or watch a movie. I misplaced the novel I had been reading these days so I decided to watch this movie. Mod. I watched it simply because I knew it would be dead slow and thus I would be able to do my work simultaneously.
A movie can please me - 1.) If it has a sensible story. 2.) A good actor 3.) Witty or thought provoking dialogues 4.) Good cinematography or Setting. 5.) Non-linear, creative, innovative narrative.
First let me give an example of each among the movies I have seen - 1.) The Reader
2.) Rockstar 3.) Lajja  4.) Guzarish 5.) Amilie

I didn't think for ages to give examples because I suppose those which I have stated can make my point clear. Mod had a lovely setting of a hill station. The natural background adds charm n beauty to the natural acting of Ayesha. Ayesha Takia had really come out as wonderful in Mod as she had in Dor. I just love her. She has a romantic air about her, something that makes her apart from others.
Unlike Dor, Mod may not bring tear to your eyes. It may not touch you deep but it nevertheless evoke the sense of wonder and beauty. All natural things do. :) and yeah Dont forget to take a look at the caption of the movie title... :)

"a moving"...

... and there are some souls who are always restless. I had thought, it was a sin... to be restless. As if restlessness was a weapon of Devil. He would soak your soul through it. I tried to find peace. Looked for it at the Church, in the tinkling sound of temple bells, in the fragrant sticks that burnt themselves. I tried to seek it into his eyes, his plain but sincere words, his purity and deep understanding. There was peace but it was not for me. I had to find my own. But there were more questions beforehand.
How it is, that I always wanted to be a dumb. And a part of me , that always wanted to be 'all-knowing'.

Source- painting by Nel

And there are moments when I feel fortunate I didn't find peace. I am yet a traveler. What if , there is no other way to tread upon after attaining the Peace? What if there is nothing after Peace? I am not full of wayside scenes yet. I want to see more and feel more and live more. Salvation? The earth's not a bad place either. I am least sad that there is inadequate in me because there is also a infinite... there is always 'a moving'...

about those days...

source- Josphine Blue

I can not forget my childhood because of the fantastic magical places I visited at that time. Sitting at the window sill of my shabby little room, I would see the moon's reflection in tidal waves, I would play with white sand and run along the beach. I would sneak in to the private rooms when couples have slept carelessly, I would inhale the nightly fragrance of secret clubs and see curvy shapes through sharp red and yellow lights. I had tasted all kinds of lives. Imagination was a thing then...the Soul ... . And so it happens sometimes, Soul dies before the body. 

A Walk to Remember...

Finally ! Yesterday I watched A Walk to Remember... what was it like?? ...umm its an Airy Movie... only a vague feeling lingers over...

A friend who had recommended the movie asked me which 'walk' is actually mentioned in the title? I thought about it. The title says : a walk which was worth remembering. In the movie , I feel, it was , when she walks to the aisle as a bride. The moment was dream fulfilling for her.

But there is more to my interpretation : A Walk which is worth remembering is when you walk into someone's life. You plan Nothing and as she says, God has bigger plans for us. He knew that she is sick and she needs someone and so He sent an Angel, who also needed someone who could show faith in him and make him confident. God has really better plans. It is the biggest miracle when we walk into each other's lives and touch their hearts. Nicholas Sparks knows simple and beautiful ways to teach about love, faith, hope and miracles. I loved one dialogue specially when girl who is suffering from Leukemia says, I didn't want any reasons to be angry with god. 

Writing and Living Poetry

I have to write it. Just a thought it is. But I need to pen it down. It begins with a question - Is a poet and the man are both different?

Let's hear Mr.Eliot, he has something to say on it. In brief, according to him, the man who suffers and the man who writes are two different men. A poet is a particular medium where different emotions,experiences, images, impressions come together to enter into a new combination.

Once I had read someone and luckily I got a chance to know that person closely. The poet appeared to be very different than his poetry. It compelled me to ask myself some questions: Should there be any similarity between poet and his poem? Is it necessary that noble poetry should be written by a noble mind?

I realized or rather accepted the fact that most of the times you actually dont mean what you write (specifically in poetry). If you were to ask one day later, you will not feel the same thing, in a same way, with the same intensity. You might even experience a complete change of emotion. Thus your poetry is a dishonest expression of your temporary honest emotion. The truth of poetry is not permanent, not temporary and may be both at the same time. But certainly you can not judge a man through his poem and a poem through the personality of man. When you meet a poet in real life , its like meeting two persons at one time. I am not sure though, I would have said the same thing for Dylan Thomas or Sylvia Plath.

Writing confessional poetry is the most courageous task on the earth. But once you begin to proud on it, the honesty is compromised at the altar of ambitious heart. Again, writing your personality into your poem is not that bad when you actually can hide it under your art.

Ogh! I am talking big today. But one last thing , Every writer, at his heart, aspires to be a poet. 

On Teaching : Not a Game and yet a Game

In my school days there was a strange thing that I wouldn’t be able to learn anything until I feign teaching an invisible audience. I loved the game. I would act like my favorite teacher. But imagine teaching real students and I would run ten miles away. But I didn’t. Am I a warrior? No, I am a poor teacher. No, in fact I am just a tutor. But then teaching is teaching whether you teach a student or two hundred.

Is it a pleasurable task? Yes, no , well sometimes yes and sometimes NO. I would say, choosing your students is important. If you are a tutor choose the very dull students. Bright and inquisitive students will not let you live and earn. And most important is to understand the “student psychology”. Yes! Recall the moments from your student life and you exactly know what students want from you. They want you to teach in a funny, informal way as if you are their friends. To take examples from real life. To laugh with them on their silly jokes (believe me a teacher has to be a good actor). To ignore their silly mistakes. Now even if they don’t think about this, you got to teach them through different mediums, for example, a video, a movie clip, photos, stories. It will give them good impression, a key to remember the original text or context, and a good change from text books. Most of the times you have to come down to their level to understand what they want and how they can get the most from you.

The best part of teaching is you come to know what you lack. Although its not as pleasing as it is when it is just a game, you can make it pleasing by thinking yourself a student, learning with them and making learn a fun.