Of the most poetic times : Young mind and Old age

Old Age is degrading

Big Brother is watching you. No its not political. Its completely familial. Our big brother is our Granddad. His eyes always follow us where ever we go. He fusses over little inconveniences and its completely natural. But what seems unnatural to us is , that he is always agitated. He keeps mala (for chanting) in one hand , ram naam on his lips but his eyes always wander about room and sometimes we suspect they follow us to our bedrooms also. Why someone who is on brink of his life should be so restless? Couldn't he even gather enough peace in his heart all his life?

Once when I was sitting beside him , as it is an order from our parents , as soon as I saw that he is fast asleep , slowly I was trying to stand up from my 'Hot Seat' , and not an inch I must have stood up that he opened his hollow eyes , reminding me of this famous tag from Orwell's classic Nineteen Eighty Four , "Big brother is watching you."

I am sorry if I make it seem flippant. It is serious for us , for him. I overheard today my mom dad's conversation. No , rather just an observation. Dad said  (indicating Gdad's helpless condition) , " This is hell." " Yes. It is only heaven till our hands and legs are working." , replied Mom. And I , who was too removed from psychic state of my parents , got to confront it rather too harshly. They are moving toward old age. Too slowly or too fast , this only they know. But they seem too old all of a sudden when they talk like this. I am no seven year old , and so I must understand what all I am seeing and listening.

These days are so poetic. Strange but true. And the poetry is that of old age and death. I don't like to call it a dirge (death song). Individuals interpret it their own way. And moreover , death is better than Old Age. A common notion shared by all of us. Except Gdad , I suppose. He is in love with medicines as a poet is in love with his muse. His words ditch his desires - 'Bas ab toh bhagwan utha le... ' and after five minutes , ' Arey Omez (calcium tablet) dena...'

Its okay , we all say. One can't help it at such times. And such times make one all the more a religious thinker. Its been hardly three days I have come at home and I am learning everything. Learning the ways of 'old age' , the ways of 'elder' , the ways of 'society' and the ways one has to choose for oneself. Its a struggle. But that of a caterpillar who turns into beautiful butterfly. I hope it is that beautiful.