For The Bluest Eye

Beauty was not something to behold , it was something one could do .

But to find out the truth about how dreams die , one should never take the word of the dreamer.

Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly , violent people love violently, weak people love weakly ,stupid people love stupidly, but the love of free man is never safe. There is no gift for the beloved. The lover alone possesses his gifts of love. The loved one is shorn , nuetralized frozen in the glare of the lover's inward eye.


These are the rose petals from a fine novel called The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. They are adequate to suggest how the novel is. Aren't they? They dig our psychology and bring out a truth from inside us . And this is what we expect from a good writer , to hold up a mirror to our life and mind also. 


The novel is actually a tragic poetry . And in her own phrase , "a patchwork quilt of reality". It is a maze and you must confuse yourself in order to not to lose the meaning.


Pecola , the ugliest girl among ugly Black people fancies to have blue eyes , thinking that it will make her beautiful.But author indicates at the end that none can make her beautiful than the will and efforts of her own self. She hallucinates herself and talks to that image as a friend,  feels happy about herself , now having blue eyes. But it is certainly not as tragic. What really a tragedy is that she gets pregnant by her own father. But to one's surprise narrative folds in such a manner that you are not at all surprised  by what has happened.


I finished the novel today and was eager to share it on FB . So I shared one quotable line from novel. And so came to discussion with one friend about how we felt after reading the novel . And this was my reply -


What makes me cry is ... we are not different from these characters ... our life is not different ... if they are pitiable so are we... if they are ugly so are we... if ... wat matters ... some people are born complicated and put in complicated situations ... others cant understand them ... what makes me feel awkward is that I wud have reacted / felt same way as they did , if put in that situation...
It was a tragedy ... with not the air of tragedy.

The book is psychologically true and technically beautiful. One can not miss one quotable line as there are many. Same about psychological truth. And technically speaking the novel is wonderful. It moves like soothing music. It is most sensuous prose work I have read. And it feels like amazing... 

I wont say I have understood the work completely . Sometimes less understanding is more understanding... as I think so :) 

Re-experienced a Second World : Banasthali Vidhyapeeth

Umm..amm... (sighs and smiles) !!! This was our first reaction upon seeing our old university , Banasthali Vidhyapeeth. I ask myself so many times - what's there in that place? Some magic? or Something else? It is so different from entire world - it is a world in itself. But this world , mind you , is a reverse world , wanna know how , let me tell you then - 

1. A place where a four wheeler strives for space as its a world of Walking Dolls. Excuse me for exaggeration. :P

2. Only place dominated by Females , they are superior , and no wonder if someday male minority would begin a fight for their rights , calling it , Malism , oopz ...sounds bad! :D

3. Umbrella is sold more in summer than Monsoon.

4. Everything colors Pink . :) No , it was just a joke :P .

5. And Guys are poorly treated and poorly stared and vulgarly commented so guys! don't dare to go alone there. :)

And so on ... 

Well , you cant get the  hold of the soul of Banasthali from few petty points , you need to experience it , you need to watch the beauty , feel the peace of solitude and breath its fresh air . Its a second world indeed! Petty things become great just like this Apaji ka Mela , but you wont understand why they become great because you have never lived in Banasthali.These things make Banasthali a second world , unique,different and unexplainable.

 We had stayed with our old friend , its always a pleasure to meet your old friends but it is dangerous if your stay is short. We stayed for two days in hostel (illegally) . And guess what? We enjoyed like hell ... thanks to her roomies also .. they were literally Fun to gossip with .. and yeah ... Ehsaas was always the center of our talk... :) :P shhh.. it is a girly secret! 

So , now when I look back and think , what we got from our Banasthali trip? I smile , and I know what's it - 

....

two pairs of open-toe sandals :P No Jokes this time ... our sandals had broken because of messy ground of mela and we had to buy new ones ... but it was very difficult and unromantic for Swati to walk with bare feet on a wet ground though I think it was fun too and I think Swati will also agree... it was a Romantic trip ;)

And wait wait wait... I forgot to share an important and beautiful part of this trip - I met with my seniors and Geeta Ma'am. Geeta ma'am was as usual cheery and warm . She is a wonderful teacher and an epitome of literature itself. And my meet up with Seniors was something like - ahem ahem... Unique ! They looked at me - and they didn't know who I am ... (by face , of course coz on FB we talk as if we know each other since a long time ) . 

By the way , don't you assume that I love Banasthali ... but how can you not love a place which gave you so many things .... and so called Friends !!! Miss them & Love them !!!  

Whatever However Anyhow Anyway Banasthali ROCKS!!!! :D

We are the Free Birds....

We are the Free Birds ... humming the tune since I came back from a superb youth program , Jashn - e - Jaipur , an annual event of PJI (Pravah Jaipur Initiative) . It was a nice song , we are the free birds... though we are not (most of the times) but tab bhi maanane ko dil karta hai that WE ARE .

Till yesterday night I was in fuss whether to go for event or no but then I decided I shall go. However I could only attend two hour's program and so I reached at 3 o'clock. Well at that time the event was on its peak.Everyone was enthusiastic and room was filled with the applause sounds , cheering and clapping sounds. A band was playing and it was amazing. But I was much impressed by another group which presented Rap with classical ie Fusion. In this fusion one moment came when I was transported into another world. This was inspiring as words started flowing in my mind for its appreciation. One side Rap poetry on other Classical raga - does it not remind of life? - parallels in life? - balance in life? - fast and slow - shallow and deep - or more properly , Material and Spiritual. When both together played at high pitch room filled with a strange positive feeling. It was some what mysterious also. And it was so powerful.  I think like me many people in that room could feel strong power of music.

Along with music , through poems , dance and plays participants touched many social issues for example , Blood donation , discrimination , rehabilitation and so on  . And thus the day was dedicated to Creativity , Oh! I mean Life. :)

Congratulations Mr. Cole!

 Mr. Cole , about whom I read in today's The Hindu , reminds me of Van Gogh. Though  Van Gogh was a Dutch post- impressionist artist and Mr Cole was a Black photographer but one thing is common between them and that is - they both found a way to express themselves in the world.

Mr. Cole created a moving pictorial record of what it was like to be a black in apartheid South Africa. The largest retrospective of his work , once banned , is now on display in Johannesburg. The photos clicked by him seem to be the photos of an another world , an unfamiliar world. Someone like me can not imagine the horrible lives of these Black people. No I can not ! Living in a perfect world where all is well and beauty is not hard to find and where one can do what one wishes - at least most of the times - it is unbelievable that such horrible things exist in the world.

There is one photo he clicked  of gold-mine recruits, who had been lined up in a grimy room for a group examination, after sneaking his camera into the mine inside his lunch bag.  

And in another photo  a child is clutching to his board in a hottest day at unfurnished school .

The people who visited the museum said that the room was full of anger. A kid wondered how could white people do this to them. The photos are full of different emotions . They are so moving specially one in which a black maid is holding a white baby who is kissing her forehead and she says "“I love this child, though she’ll grow up to treat me just like her mother does.” A maid quoted by Ernest Cole in his caption for this picture." 

Sometimes I think there are so many things happening in the world and how much we know of it? Most of us like to live in an Ivory Tower , isolated from the world around us . Then people like Mr. Cole inspire us , open our eyes and make us realize that we cant sit idle when so many things ; good or bad , happening around us. The world is a part of our eternal journey and we have a significant role to play here. We must choose a medium to express ourselves honestly and so contribute in the world. People like Mr. Cole and Van Gogh did it now it is our turn .

Congratulations Mr. Cole!

Story of an undefeated Man : The Old Man and the Sea

“But man is not made for defeat.” …

“A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”

Santiago , the Old Man , is as grand in his hopes as any man can be. I have no right words for him nor for the great novella of Hemmingway - The Old Man and the Sea , they are beyond any petty description. But I can not be content without expressing either.  I have never read anything like this before. So simple , so natural , so true and so grand. It is a story of an old  fisherman ,  who is called by everyone unlucky as he couldn’t catch any fish for eighty-four days but he is resolute and he believes he will catch a big fish and finally he does. But cruel fate ! it intervenes his luck and destroys it . But certainly Old man is not defeated . His belief wins. He fights and fights more till his last hope is left and then … oh I must not reveal everything. The rest you shall find yourself.

Well , on one hand we have pessimists and those who believe man is all evil or in fact he is nothing . On the other hand , we have characters like Santiago who enjoys the notion that man is not made for defeat but he has reasons and if not reasons than beliefs. He says – “It is silly not to hope.” The Old man is poor and perhaps uneducated . That is why , I think his monologues are so innocent. In one such monologue he talks about sin –

“ Perhaps it was sin to kill the fish. … But then everything is a sin. Do not think about the sin . It is much too late for that and there are people who are paid to do it.”

Isn’t it everyman’s conflict? And like with every unthinkable ordinary man , the conflict is unresolved. Just after it in the next paragraph he talks about another interesting conflict which reminds me of Othello –

“You did not kill the fish only to keep alive and to sell for food , he thought. You killed him for pride and because you are a fisherman. You loved him when he was alive and you loved him after. If you love him , it is not a sin to kill him. Or is it more?”   

Othello loved Desdemona and killed her not because he hated her but because he loved her too much . And he killed her because he wanted to save her from eternal damnation as he thought she had gone on wrong path. Well , in the case of Santiago , see again , the conflict is unresolved ….

The novella is all full of hopes , all light and all glory. So powerful is the hope and belief of Santiago that he reminds me of Browning , who says – God is in his Heaven , and all is well with the world. Santiago says with no less hope –

“I have no luck anymore. But who knows? Maybe today. Everyday is a new day.”

How innocent and full of simplicity the lines are . Optimistic sentences are like Glucon-D they give instant energy. Due to this energy Santiago could survive all odds on the sea till three days. But its all about Santiago , how can we forget the boy , Manolin? The boy who believes Old man’s wildest dreams , who cares for him , who provides for him and who is always eager to learn from him perhaps because he is the only one who recognizes the strength of Old man . Their relation is very sweet . But it is strange also as the character of Old man himself. He knows this very well as he says – 

“ I am a strange old man.”

Santiago is indeed a strange old man who fights to keep his sanity in the most tough period of his struggle. But his strangeness is positive. His hopes save him. His resolution wins. The story’s universality lies in the fact that we are also on the verge of madness and more because our generation is Anti – Heroic and Lost one . Depression , frustration , suicidal attempts are so common today that I fear ten Santiagos will be less to infuse hope in us. But still we can look upto him and find some solace. He gives us a mantra , a very easy one , we can try that too –

Keep your head clear.

Look at the sentence – this ‘keep” here suggests you must constantly try and never leave hope. Just try to keep your sanity even though there are many struggles and conflicts even though they are not resolved even though you are destroyed but remember you can  never be defeated. Man is not made for defeat …

Waiting for Godot : My understanding of Beckett's play

There was a generation in mid twentieth century which realized – our existence is but an accident and our life has no purpose. We live but to die and both our living and dying is without meaning. Well “ nothing can be done” says Beckett in Waiting for Godot. The play was staged in London in 1955 and that time it said that we are doing nothing but uselessly “waiting” and passing the time since half past century. So , a century later , what should our generation feel? Well , generally I used to feel ‘good’ precisely ‘hopeful’ but after reading the play I felt ‘terrible’ as if someone has took off all my clothes , which I thought was my real skin and now I began feeling a pang in my heart for I wonder if all these years I was also ‘waiting’ (God’s grace) on the pillars of (faith) which is never going to come like Mr. Godot.

So the play has strength to shake your faith . But what gives it so much power? In my opinion , it does not talk much but it makes you feel what it wants to say. About setting the critics have said , the actions do take place once at everywhere and nowhere . About language , well , it becomes powerful because of brevity of expressions. I found one course of dialogue between two main characters – Vladimir and Estragon very impressive  - - -

(Estragon is eating a carrot) … Funny , the more you eat the worse it gets.

Vladimir – With me it’s just the opposite.

Estragon – In other words?

Vladimir – I get used to the muck as I go along.

 Estragon – Is that the opposite?

Vladimir – Question of temperament.

Estragon – Of character.

Vladimir – Nothing you can do about it.

Estragon – No use wriggling.

Vladimir – The essential doesn’t change.

Estragon- Nothing can be done.

So nothing can be done …  we are not essentially good or bad … we are what we make of ourselves … we are what we choose to believe.

One more speech moves me… to what I don’t know but it is impressive or at least you can make out some sense among senseless speeches – it is said by a slave , Lucky –

“ … God … loves us dearly with some exceptions for reasons unknown but time will tell …”

At one point or other we all doubt whether God exists ? or if yes , does He love us ? And if yes , then why do we have to suffer ? Surely God has some reasons unknown to us. In the Shakespearean world there is always a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel and we feel ‘gods are just..’ but in our world , here we are not sure of anything not even of our own existence. Characters feel lonely in the play. They need others to make them feel that they exist.  Estragon says to Vladimir “ We always find something ,eh Didi , to give us the impression we exist?” . So many times Estragon fells asleep because like death it  gives some relief if not permanent at least temporary. Estragon again and again says "I can't go on like this" in this I find the best expression of the feelings of our generation . One feels at one point that s/he can’t go on like this because sometimes it is too much – too much of boredom , of purposelessness , of hopelessness, of helplessness and so on. It is one of the characteristics of the play that it gives you many levels of interpretations. 

The subtitle of the play is again very striking ,  which says – A tragicomedy in two acts. What is a life if not a blend of tragedy and comedy? And what is a true literature if it can not present the life as it is? But truly , I don’t know if the world of Waiting for Godot is really what I would like to call a true picture of life? Is there not a tragic sense prevailing upon comedy ? As they said , Beckett removed ‘s’ from the word ‘cosmic’ and it became ‘comic’ … a comic world without ‘s’ – spirit/soul. This comedy is just an attempt to forget tragic nonsense of life. I cant help quoting Hardy here – happiness is but an interval in the tragic course of life.

But let us not be disheartened . I had my enough doldrums since yesternight no more now. I will listen to Vladimir than Estragon who sounds more hopeful than later … as he says “Tomorrow everything will be better”.

Rajmohan's Wife : Indian Dilemma and Bankimchandra Chatopadhyay

Literature is one which we read and one which we live. What matter if it is in Telgu? Punjabi? Gujrati? Latin? French? Hindi ? or English? And what matter if it is not in any language but Ellipsis? We watch the theater of Silence and mime ... don't we? We convey our feelings to our loved ones in words but sometimes we just let it be or show them . So how far it affects whether an author writes at full length or just gives a sign ...  ultimately the author's aim should be accomplished. One such an attempt made by Bankimchandra Chattopadhyay in his first debut novel in English , Rajmohan's Wife , can be called an unsuccessful success .Unsuccessful in attracting readers of his time but successful in accomplishing of author's aim through it.

The novel was serialized in 1864 in the weekly periodical , the Indian Field , edited by kishori Chandra Mitra. It is notable that he begun his literary career through English novel but then after abandoning English language for fiction,  he wrote fourteen novels in Bangla , among the most famous are - Durgeshnandini , Anandamath and Rajsingha. It is well known that Bankimchandra ji was the prominent literary figure of nineteenth century India. Who can forget his song in Anandamath - Vande Matram - which became our National Song after Independence. We can also not forget him for the realism he brought in literature through his novels. And for this particular feature Rajmohan's Wife becomes a very important study. 

As we know that Bankimchandra ji was one of seven in the first batch of graduates from newly established Calcutta University , he was well known with English literature as well as Sanskrit literature. In  this novel while he is directly influenced by Victorian novels which portray social realities with the aim of reformation , he is also unconsciously overpowered by Sanskrit poetic literature due to which he gives a romantic and poetic description of feminine beauty as in Sanskrit it is called "nakh shikh varnan".  Thus the novel is blend of many outer influences as well as his own unconscious. 

I had been always fond of Bengali novels for they present a different Indian world. For example if you read Sharatchandra chatterji's novel - Devdas , Parineeta , Viraj Bahu , Charitraheen etc. they are all great stories of love , loss , morality , sin and so on and so forth. Rajmohan's wife is not different from them but as it precedes them and still the Real World  seems so real we are full of wonder and appreciation for the bravery of novelist. 

My first impression of this novel was peculiar. Actually you don't realize,  when you began reading the novel and when it has finished. I suppose it is the biggest drawback of the novel . The author seems to be bored and burdened and ends abruptly though from the initial lengthy introductions of families and character it seems he had planned to write a long novel. Another problem is that of Deviation of Register , it is a technical term in English Literature which suggests that author deviates from the norms of register (mixing of dialects) . For example , Rajmohan speaking in the old English - "deceive me not . Canst thou?" "Thou" an archaic word is not expected from moder man in speech. Also Bankim time and again refers to English things or places to insert Englishness in his novel for it seems he wrote for English people of his time .For instance , a Bengali village girl refers to a destroyed Biblical city "Jericho" which is something weird. But lets digest all his faults because the novel is not all compact of weirdness it has substance and it has weight and it has many more things to remember - among which one is the strong character of Matangini , the heroine of the novel.

 It is noticeable that though Bankim follows unconsciously the style and pattern of Victorian literature he gives his female characters a unique distinction and especially to heroine -  a Strong and firm character that is rarely found in any Victorian novel . In most Victorian novels females were portrayed as submissive and passive , they did not possess unique qualities of their own . On the contrary . Matingini is brave and even braver than the hero himself - Madhav. She confesses her love for her sister's husband - Madhav. While Madhav also loves , he asks Matangini to forget him , he is even shy to express his love for her. We are told that Madhav appreciates Matangini's braveness and pure and firm character but no where we see him appreciating her in public. Surely women are more firm and determined in Bankim's novels than men. Most men are corrupt and loose - characters and women are sufferer. Whatever reality Bankim shows and sympathizes with women's fate and miseries , he is not that bold to give justice to women . He deliberately makes them say that they are sinners and they are bad and so they must suffer. Matangini at the end suffers  as her creator is in dilemma that what to do with her fate and he ends abruptly. Dilemma is the keyword of Victorian Literature - dilemma between Faith and Reason and it is also prominent in this novel. And here the dilemma is between author's inborn Hindu Samskara and his consciousness of rigidness of  Hindu society . He is well aware of bad practices of polygamy of Kulin Brahmin boys and also of corrupt characters  of rich males. But he is not able to answer the question he himself puts up - Why women is not master of her own destiny? The ready made solution is - she has to suffer which he has given. 

But the character of Matangini stands alone and shines in spite of her disappearance into cruel fate and even the attitude of other female characters like Kanak and Tara can not be forgotten.... in fact the whole novel can not be forgotten for its a beautiful example of early Indian English novel - it has distinct Indianness wrapped in a simple fresh English language.

- Ojasi Mehta

MA English 

A Magic Revived

One and a half hour of Romanticism !!! - - - the play Nagamandala , written by Girish Karnad and performed by Banasthali Students at Jawahar Kala Kendra tonight , was as charming as our Grandma's tales of nights. But the play is not just to entertain , the writer evokes many bad customs , practices and black realities of ancient India which in a vague sense have some relevance today also.

Once Shobha De had said , we don't need to write magic stories like Harry Porter , because Magic is imbibed in  our roots. India has been known as the land of snake-charmers. Why ! its not something to shame on as some people do feel . There are many sides of even this side of India but whole in whole , I feel we can never be stripped of magic. And it is for good only as it suggests that we Indians can never be defeated or destroyed because we have faith and belief on some supernatural force and it will save us from what so ever comes in our way.

The play is magical in the strict sense that it takes you away from your present world reality to an ancient Indian land of folklores and supernatural beliefs or in cruel words - superstitions. Playwright has mingled two Kannada folklores and the way he has presented the play before his audience with all his art,  is what makes him a great playwright. But no , I am not here to tell you about the play but about the performance of this play which I watched today.

Well , I have no doubts about the ability of Banasthalites ... no no its not what you may call "institutionalism" .. no partiality ! But yeah , its a big deal to Act and that too in English language. And what is more important is  to have fluency and clarity which was surprisingly there in the actors. Second hurdle , the girls playing the roles of male actors - but as always here also girls are multi- talented . They not only excelled in female roles but  well played the male roles with their attitude. Both male and female protagonists were superb , especially Rakhi Tyagi , the female protagonist , Rani , acted so naturally and prettily that it was impossible to take off eyes from  her. Even the girl who played Kalyaani , was so good in her acting that I was wondering if she is really that much old. Her Indian village "kaki" wala tone made audience laugh out loud. The Bollywood pattern dance in the Romantic scene of Rani and Maansingh also added charm to the play.

The play had so much Indianness in it that English no more seemed a foreign tongue. And about magic , well on me it had a transforming effect. I remember one scene very well in which Rani is telling "naag" (in the form of Maansingh) that her father told her about the Kobra in whose eyes birds see the changing colors and are enchanted by this. The scene was so enchanting when Rani without flashing her eyes looks into Naag's eyes that for a moment I had a vision of "naag" itself. I was transformed into some mysterious world .

The play no doubt abounds in symbols but the simplicity has not lost and one can enjoy even without understanding a bit beyond the tale itself. Charm and Simplicity are the two keywords for this play as well as the performance. Well well well .... I think I can write whole night on it but I think writing won't do ... I must off to my bed and experience it , otherwise the magic will be lost !

India : A Wounded Civilization

" The crisis of India is not only political or economic. The larger crisis is of a wounded old civilization that has at last become aware of its inadequacies and is without the intellectual means to move ahead."


V.S.Naipul , a Caribbean writer of Indian descent has written Indian Trilogy comprising three books respectively - An Area of Darkness , India : A Wounded Civilization , A Million Mutinies Now . Its was on his third visit to India , prompted by Emergency in 1975 that he came to write his second book - India : A Wounded Civilization.


The title itself shows Naipul's concern in his book - neither politics nor economics but emphasis is on the Civilization and that too A Wounded Civilization. Of course the work is critical and analytical as in the beginning he says that "I am at once too close and too far " from India as it is his home and cannot be his home. Well for him its a difficult country and for one who is not Indian , I think India becomes mystical and so difficult.


Its very strange that we are always guided either by "supernatural" or "inner voice". The magic , religion , caste , customs , samskara , karma n alike are so imbibed in our lives that they become us and we are lost in them . One's identity in India is described by them and not what they are actually. That is one reason why in most Indian novels or literary work author tries to find out his own "identity" . In West , individual is individual . So no further complexity.


What Naipul tries to show us is that - Rich Civilization was a past and now India should rediscover its past not by adopting it as it was but by creating something new by moving ahead. He is also critical of Gandhi , he said at one place that " Gandhi swept through India , but he has left it without an ideology." Tolstoy in the last year of his life , said of Gandhi " His Hindu Nationalism spoils everything." This Naipul calls a defect of vision and for it he says Gandhi could give something better and alive to Independent India.

What I most liked about the book is - it has a literary air about it which as Naipul wonders , lacks in Gandhi's auto-biography . It talks about R.K.Narayan's novels and his isolated world undisturbed by 1930s political environment and appreciates the novel Samskara by U. R. Anantha Murthy , as it shows the predicament of individual identity in relation with Indian culture and castes. It also talks about Vijay Tendulkar , a marathi playwright whose works are translated into English. His works are realistic and he is more harsh than other Indian writers. 


The book is thought-provoking as Hind Swaraj of Gandhi but as Gandhi takes us back a hundred years , Naipul shows us the truth of today's reality and dream of future Renaissance .

Struggle Continued ...

Like a horn , day in & day out , the word rings in my ear " Struggle".

Struggle around , struggle inside ! Everyone is struggling for one or the other thing.

When I am not given attention , I struggle to get it. When I am given , I struggle not to be proud or forget the realities of life by indulging in it. So , Struggle again , in the form of contradiction.

I am astonished to realize how everyone is struggling at one time , both with "something internal" and "something external". It seems we all are fighting two battles together , with a pressure to win both or left in despair.

He always says, " why! dear struggle is a good sign. You will learn something out of it. " Oh yes! positively,  I will at least learn to live with them . Struggles like problems contain its own solution. Escaping from one kind of struggle means entering into another struggle. And believing that you can come out of them simply means YOU CAN - after just a little struggle to find out - How?

I wonder whose struggle is more painful and distressing , youth's or elder's? Well , stupid question ! Of course everyone find his own struggle more painful , isn't it? But as I am at the dawn of my twenties , I feel like a baby full of energy to play with "struggles" like a toy , experimenting with them as well as learning from those experiments .  Try it - not a bad idea - to play with your struggle ! Really !

Man can die but never be defeated , is the theme of the novel The Old man and The Sea . So,  definitely you will never be defeated if you try to fight with your Struggles. Honest Warriors are never defeated . You might die but not in vain - you will be remembered as a Martyr !

So , better Struggle be Continued and you be a Warrior !

Have some Good Sense Please !

 "Where is the Life we have lost in living?

 Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?

Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?" 

A message had been forwarded by  ( I don't know whom) but I am pretty sure it passed through many so called "intellectual" or at least "educated" hands , and the message reads as - "Pray for Ram Temple's right in Ayodhya .  Court will declare the judgement on 15th September , 2010. Spread this message like Fire - 'Jo Hindu Ram ka nahi wo kisi kaam ka nahi' " .

What a crap! What has happened to Indian youth? Those Youths who call their previous generation conservative and backward ? Are we now not showing our own backwardness ? Sitting in an arm-chair , A.C. , eating pizzas what we will know of deprived families , murdered husbands , raped sisters , wives and bloody massacre … its so easy to sympathize and not sympathize with the past age , but to imagine yourself in that situation – I am sure then  you would shudder at least once before forwarding such messages.

Who is Ram? And who is Allah? Our poor people have no such God . . What a poor has to do with it? Why a child labourer will care for it? Are they getting food or education if there will be a Ram temple ? Or a Muslim women will have all rights which she deserves , if there will be a mosque? We fight on trivial things such as a right of temple or mosque which is not even a true part of religion … but why don’t we fight for the cause of humanity – for poverty , for the right of education , for women empowerment? Has India left with no noble cause to fight for?   

Ours is surely a Lost Generation. The elders are in their cozy caves of lost tradition and we young people are fighting a blind battle… When I think of India - my poor country - where politics is a dirty and religion a blind game. And where Youth are just hopeless intellectuals ...I pray - May God give them some sense so that they  pray for Mother India striped off necessities rather than for a structure of bricks and sand.  

- Ojasi mehta 

Young India and Gandhian Philosophy

Lawyers should  abandon  their job... Doctors are good for nothing... Railways are rubbish... Factories and mills are not the sign of development ...  wait ! wait ! .. these are not my thoughts , but the one whom we affectionately call - Bapu. Yes! Mahtma Gandhi , the father of our nation. These thoughts he has shared in his very famous book called - Indian Home Rule or Hind Swaraj which he wrote in 1909 when he was traveling from London to South Africa.

But isn't it a very weird thought? I think for most of youths like me , it is. It was shocking when I read his thoughts on civilization , non-violence , truth et cectra . But these are not baseless thoughts they have solid logics behind them . They are the treasure of Gandhi's own experiences.

Gandhi writes a message in the book's preface which ends as following -
"The reader may balance against this the opinion of a dear friend , who alas! is no more , that it was (the book) the production of a fool."

Certainly , the book may sound terrible to someone who believes in "tit for tat" or "revenge" or "grabbing our right by hook or crook" But  Gandhi ji gave such logics behind his every thought that even an extremist would embrace them contentedly  .

You would say , we have attained Swaraj then what is the use of this book now? But what if I say , we have not attained Swaraj yet then? Not the one which Gandhi meant by this word? Gandhi ji explains in this book the meaning of Swaraj that it does not mean the expulsion of Englishmen but it is in fact the expulsion of English civilization , which we see has infected our country and is the root of all our sufferings. Swaraj means to rule ourselves. And one can only rule oneself when one's mind is in his own control and pure.

Gandhi ji says that his own life is his message to everyone , which is a powerful statement. He is able to say this because of his one quality that he does what he says to others. He proposes to walk on the path of Truth and Non-Violence which was propagated by all ancient saints . And he also proposes to let India untouched by modern civilization and let it be as it was in ancient times. He has strong reasons behind his thoughts , which you would come to know when you read the book yourself.

Being a youth and seeing the India affected by Globalization and Modernization , all the thoughts of Gandhi ji seem to me like a Harry - Porter world ,  though I want their implementation but they seem Impossible . We are so much drowned in the technology and modernity that it is almost Impossible to turn back now . But it does not mean that the book has nothing to offer you. It lightens up something in our heart. Something which I may call "truth" of  a soul of human being , of civilization or of a nation . It tells you that if you can not Change everything about your New World at least you can change a bit and be a true Indian . For instance - You can take an vow that you wont use English Language until its necessary , Wear Khadi , Gift handloom or craft items , Use Swadeshi items where you can.

I would highly recommend this book to every youth because I think they are really untouched by such sublime thoughts and it is a high time for us to think about such issues. Gandhi himself said that the change can not come until we become discontent with our present situations. So, its time for us to ask from ourselves that have we awakened or still  we are in the state of comatose?

From the specs of (English) , August !

Waoo! I have not wasted my last few days , I picked up an Indian novel , English , August by Upamanyu Chatteree and guess what ! I loved it like anything . I don't usually like Indian novels , firstly , because they seem to try to copy American or British style ; secondly , if they don't copy they don't show any depth or good story-line. But this one has Indianness plus a strange style which carries Indianness with it very well. What  all I mean is , it is funky , funny yet it has some original depth .

The narrator , Agstya , fashionably called by his friends August , has a very funny and weird way of viewing things. He is a modern - a representative of Lost Generation or as his father used to call - "A generation which doesn't apply hair-oil" . It is a post-colonial novel.The author goes ahead of all  modern Indian English novelists . He projects a world dominated by males . It is very shocking to see everything from the eyes of a  modern man - a man occupied with hard-drinks , marijuana , sex n alike. August is man without ambition.

About the motif , one which is very prominent is - The Gita and Krishna - Arjun. It appears whenever he is in distress and not able to accept things , carry on the fight or make a decision. One more striking thing is the Title - English , August  . It may indicates towards the Englishness of August i.e. Agstya who is not quite able to adapt  to his job which requires distinct Indianness.

The novel is very attractive for those who are on turning points of their life. Through out the novel August tries to adopt the life-style of an IAS but through out he feels he needs time ... Time to think about his life and himself as a traveler would think before choosing his way and I think its always better to think beforehand than turning back. At the end ....... ah! won't reveal the ending.

Well it was an interesting read. Enjoyed , obviously because it is full of young stuff - stimulating your own Ids - instincts. But finally shows you a good way , gives you  little wisdom not through dictating but subtly through hinting.

Now so much of outsiders ! I will have to begin my course studies. And it was good ending of my retreat. Thanks to the friend who lent me this novel.

Endangered Tradition of Letter Writing

Now a days in the time of Globalization the word "letter" seems out of the world and out dated word. Technology has become one of the epidemic of this century . I remember a beautiful thought from a friend's letter that he had always fancied to have a pen - friend who would be sitting in a far corner of the world and waiting for his letters but now instead of pen - friends we have net - friends who , we know , obviously get our message within a day . The whole process has become so obvious that "wait" has finished , and so the "excitement" with it.

Wao! What statistics ! In twenty-one years , I have hardly received three or four letters and I am afraid I sent back less than this. Of course , I am  not pleading to step back in the term of development and begin a new era of letter - writing . I could have still done that but I am afraid of those who , in the name of Go Green , would kill me for wasting paper. Well , to feel the romance of writing and receiving letters I can even labor to plant trees every weekend.

We have moved on in the world of technology ,and  I want to believe it is for good , but I have a secret sympathy for endangered traditions - ah! no no not really for institutional or religious traditions but for such sweet traditions related to old lifestyle as one is - letter writing. It is sweet because of so many psychological reasons. First , we wait for someone's letter it gives us time - may be time to think and cherish memories , teaches patience ... then with letter we see the writing of other person-  it becomes substitute for his absence , we can make out lots of expressions from his writing ,  and so on... Well, I love them because I can keep them safely and read them when ever I miss the other person. And I think at least we can save this dying tradition by sending letters once in a while and pass it on to the next generation and let them decide what to do with it. A letter , I am sure in our techno life will bring a little romance , what's say?

सीता से लेकर आज तक ...

"लस्ट फॉर लाइफ " नोवेल ख़तम करने के बाद कल का दिन ऐसा था जब में पूरी तरह से विचारों में डूब गयी थी और कल कि रात जब मुझे कई विचित्र सपने आये. ये कल दिन में "लज्जा" जैसी फिल्म देखने का निताजा ही था जिसने मेरे दिमाग में सोये हुए विचारो के लिए एक तूफ़ान का काम किया था... 

फिल्म उद्योग ने  मुझे हमेशा से ही आकर्षित किया है. इस क्षेत्र के माध्यम से  असंभव रचनात्मकता लायी जा सकती है और  इसके माध्यम से समाज के विशाल समूह तक आसानी से अपनी बात भी पहुचाई जा सकती है. "लज्जा" इस दृष्टि से बहुत ख़ास फिल्म है. मुझे आश्चर्य हुआ ये सोच कर कि स्क्रिप्ट रायटर और डिरेक्टर ने कितनी बारीकियों को ध्यान में रखा और बिलकुल एक साहित्य  कि तरह समाज का दर्पण बना दिया इस  फिल्म को. फिल्म कि ख़ास बात थी कि इसमें कहानी भी थी  , शिक्षा भी थी और साथ ही साथ इसकी प्रस्तुति बेहद सुन्दर और रौचक थी. 

फिल्म में लगभग चार नायिकाए है  जिनमे मनीषा कोईराला ने मुख्य  भूमिका निभायी है, ध्यान देने वाली बात यह  है कि सभी नायिकाओं का नाम "सीता" का पर्याय है , जैसे - "वैदेही " , "मैत्रयी" , "रामदुलारी" , "जानकी"... इस तरह गौर करे तो आज के ज़माने में सभी औरते   जो सीता माता का ही एक रूप है आज के पुरुष समाज जो स्वयं को "मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम राम" समझता है उसके सामने ये सवाल उठाती  है कि ---- " अगर सीता माता अशोक वाटिका में ही रावण कि बात मान लेती तो क्या राम और उनकी सेना युद्ध जीत पाते ... वो तो बिना युद्ध किये ही हार जाते... असल में तो सीता माता थी जिन्होंने रावन को अकेले ही अशोक वाटिका में हराया... और समाज ने उन्ही को चरित्रहीन घोषित कर दिया? क्यों? क्यों हर बार अग्नि परीक्षा औरत को ही देनी पड़ती है? उसे तो क्या उसकी सोच तक को बंद दिया जाता है...ऐसा  क्यूँ होता है ? ? ? "

 इतना ही नहीं फिल्म में बड़ी समझदारी से एक औरत से जुडी हर समस्या पर प्रकाश डाला गया है. किस तरह उसका "जन्म " एक अभिशाप माना  जाता है. जब एक बेटी के पैदा होने के बाद उसे उसके ही घरवाले बेरहमी से मार देना चाहते हैं तो "रामदुलारी" उन बेशर्मो से  पूछती है कि "अगर उनकी माँ के साथ भी यही हुआ होता तो वो लोग  कहाँ  से आते?"   

मैं जब दिन में यह फिल्म देख रही थी मेरा छोटा भाई स्कूल से आया शुरू में उसने चैनल बदलने कि कोशिश कि पर एक बार जब उसने फिल्म देखनी शुरू कि तो देखता ही रह गया , मुझसे भी ज्यादा मज़ा उसे आ रहा था और मज़े कि बात तो यह कि बीच के  गेप में हम दोनों में अच्छी  खासी चर्चा भी हो जाती . वो कहता कि आजकल तो इतना अत्याचार नहीं होता है औरतो पर . लेकिन इस फिल्म कि खासियत यही है कि इसमें वो चीज़े भी दिखाई है जो आज से दस साल पहले हुआ करती थी और अब बिलकुल न के बराबर होती है और वो बाते भी दिखाई है जो आज भी गावो में तो क्या शहरों  में सभ्य लोगो के बीच भी होती है जैसे - दहेज़. कहने कि आवश्यकता तो नहीं पर आज कल के लड़के सॉफ्टवेर इंजिनियर या सी . ए . होते हुए भी लड़की के माँ -बाप से पैसे लेते हुए नहीं शर्माते. और हम लडकियां तो बेवकूफ हैं जो ऐसे लडको का सपना देखती है जिनमे थोडा सा "आत्मा-सम्मान" बचा हो. खैर , फिल्म के सिर्फ चार दृश्य इतने ख़ास है जो कि चारो नायिकाओं के मुख्य डाइलोग हैं. 

मुझे लगता है ऐसी फिल्मो का बनना बहुत ज़रूरी है - ये समाज के लिए एक झटका है और सक्रीय लोगो के लिए एक सोचने का मुद्दा. हिंदी फिल्मो कि सबसे अच्छी बात यही है कि ये हमेशा अंत में  समस्या को सुलझाती है  और सच्चाई कि जीत दिखाती है. हमारी संस्कृति के अनुकूल ये सिखाती है कि हमें आशा नहीं छोड़नी चाहिए क्यूंकि एक दिन बदलाव ज़रूर आएगा और सच्चाई कि जीत अवश्य होगी - और मुझे लगता है कि ये विश्वास ही अपने आप में एक बहुत बड़ी जीत है आम इंसान के लिए.  

चरित्रहीन - एक चर्चा

घर पर बैठे बोर होने और  टीवी से चिपके रहने की अपेक्षा मैंने तय किया की मम्मी की समृद्ध लाइब्ररी में से कोई नोवल निकाल कर पढ़ लू. लाइब्ररी छानते हुए मेरी निगाह पड़ी "चरित्रहीन" पर (शरत बाबु द्वारा लिखित उपन्यास) , चूँकि इसके बारे में मैंने बहुत सुना था तो इसे पढने के लालच को रोक नहीं पायी.

अक्सर ऐसा होता है की हम किसी चीज़ से आशाये/अपेक्षाए लगा लेते हैं ओर वो उस पर उतनी खरी नहीं उतरती... हालांकि शरत बाबु का यह उपन्यास बहुत अच्छा था पर जाने क्यों यह मेरे मस्तिष्क में ही मछली के कांटे की तरह अटक गया , दिल तक पंहुचा ही नहीं. दोष  उपन्यास का  नहीं , ज़माना ही इतना बदल गया. हाँ अगर यह उपन्यास मैंने शरत बाबु के ज़माने में पढ़ा होता तो ज़रूर इस "चरित्रहीन" की गंगा में बह कर "पवित्र" हो जाती.

उपन्यास समाप्त कर सबसे पहला प्रश्न जो दिमाग पर छाता है वह है - आखिर संपूर्ण उपन्यास में "चरित्रहीन" कौन था? सतीश- जो स्वयं को सबसे अधम पुरुष मानता है ? सावित्री- विधवा ब्राह्मिन जिसे कुल से निकाल दिया गया? या किरणमयी - अपूर्व सुंदरी जो भूल से गलती कर बैठती है पर अंत में प्रायश्चित कर लेती है? ... पर पहले ये जानना ज़रूरी है की आज "चरित्र" और "चरित्रहीन" की  हमारे लिए क्या परिभाषा है? क्या शरत बाबु के ज़माने से लेकर अब तक वही परिभाषा चली आ रही है? क्या हमारे मूल्यों में ज़रा भी परिवर्तन नहीं हुआ? क्या यह ज़रूरी है की उस ज़माने में जो "चरित्रहीन" माना  जाता था वह आज भी "चरित्रहीन" ही माना  जाए?

किरणमयी द्वारा एक बहुत अच्छी  बात उपन्यासकार ने कही है की - राह चलते जब कोई अँधा गड्डे में गिर जाता है तो लोग उसे उठाते है , सँभालते हैं. समाज द्वारा यह बात स्वीकृत है की प्रेम अँधा होता है - पर जब यह अँधा गड्डे में गिरता है तो लोग उसे संभालने के लिए नहीं आते बल्कि उसे और गिरा कर उस पर मिटटी तक डाल देते हैं. अगर अँधा गड्डे में गिरे तो समझ में आता है पर आँख वाला गिरे तो क्या उसे माफ़ किया जा सकता है? शरत बाबु की दृष्टि में भी "चरित्रहीन" वह नहीं जो भूल से गड्डे में गिर जाए पर वह है जिसका लक्ष्य ही गड्डे के समान नीच हो - जिसकी नियत खराब हो.

मुझे लगता है समाज को या व्यक्ति को धोखा देने की बात तो दूर की है , इंसान जब स्वयं को धोखा देने लगता है तब वह पतन की ओर बढ़ने लगता है. कल रात को "देहली ६" फिल्म देख रही थी जो की मुझे बेहद पसंद है. एक पागल व्यक्ति उस फिल्म में हमेशा सभी को शीशा दिखाते हुए कहता है - "झांको" ... दरअसल वह स्वयं के अंदर झाँकने की बात कहता है .... हम सभी को इसी तरह स्वयं के भीतर झाँकने की ज़रूरत है. जब कोई इंसान अपने अंदर स्थित शीशे में स्वयं का असली चेहरा छिपाने की चेष्टा से धुल की परते चढ़ाता जाता  है उसका चरित्र दूषित होता जाता है. समाज के सामने हमारी जो छवि बनती वह असली नहीं है अर्थात वह मात्र शरीर की भाँती है जिसका किसी भी प्रकार से स्वच्छ रहना "अच्छा" है परन्तु "आवश्यक" नहीं जितना की आत्मा का शुद्ध रहना आवश्यक है क्यूंकि अंतिम निर्णय कि हम कैसे है?- चरित्रवान है या चरित्रहीन? ये तो हमारा अंतर्मन और फिर उपरवाला ही करेगा....

An Initiative - Beyond Expectations

Who can tell what is truth and what futility ?

Who can tell which dream will turn into reality?

When I was attending the Capacity Building Workshop conducted by Pravah Jaipur Initiative in collaboration with other organizations in Jaipur , far in my mind, a dream was shaping that I will conduct a workshop in my hometown too. I learnt comics though I wanted to learn film-making first but I chose comics because I knew I can spread this art easily than film-making. And I am glad that I could do it. And I could do it only when first I thought – I can do it.

I had to face many challenges but as always I am so lucky and things turned into my favor. The workshop was organized by Bharat Vikas Parishad , Pravah Jaipur Initiative & World Comics India. I got so much help from Bharat Vikas Parishad and I represented other two organizations as a volunteer. My only biggest challenge was that I was alone as an instructor or trainer and I knew making Comics is a no joke. We elders could do it in two days with the help of two elder trainers and I had so many small kids , all were below 8^th class but as they say , “jahaan chaah hai wahaan raah hai” I did my best. My one friend came ahead to help me . Nishita is pursuing BVA(visual arts) from ICG college, Jaipur. Fortunately , she had also attended a one day Workshop on Comics in her college so she was equally supporting me.

Other challenge was collecting kids and managing them . I wanted to conduct this workshop for the students above 8^th class but as usual at my end children are very shy & egoistic . They think they know everything and need not to learn anything new. Well , on the contrary , the small kids were so enthusiastic and eager to learn that I couldn’t hold the boundaries which I made any longer.  First day , I had hardly five kids but last day I had almost 20-22 kids . The reason , simply was that children were enjoying themselves and through mouth publicity the grew into a good numbers. They were learning something new which they liked. They were busy , doing something productive and creative. And above all , their parents were encouraging them a lot , after all now children were not watching tv , wasting their time and irritating their parents.

Last day had become very memorable for me as I got many wishes as well as many amazing feedbacks , which I had hardly expected. A small kid , Parv Vyas who is in 3^rd std , though couldn’t complete his comics but he made comics in his drawing book which was on “water conservation”. He gave message that – “we should not bath in shower and waste water”. That amazing kid himself used to bath in shower but when he made that comics , he told his mother that – “I wont bath in shower and in bath tub because I myself made comics on that, we should not waste water”.  His mother told me on last day that I was trying to teach  him this from last two months but he wouldn’t listen to me , now your comics workshop has done what I couldn’t. This was a Big Compliment for me. I got success. I told her that if such small child can understand what I wanted to convey then I think I am succeeded in my effort.

The response was beyond expectations. I knew Banswara is not a developed city , but it is an intellectual city. People are ahead in taking initiatives and they engage themselves in many social activities. Many people came to meet me during workshop , to understand the concept and wish me luck. My principle , Saroj Nagawat ma’am asked me to organize a workshop in my old school , which is a thing to proud on. Parv’s mother , who is also a teacher asked me to add Theatre also next time , as she says , many people are interested in learning new things.

Earlier I had planned to take registration fees but then I discarded that thought and took no fees from anyone and so couldn’t provide much things and gifts to kids. But the response and enthusiasm of visitors and well wishers was so amazing that Last Day , Saroj ma’am gifted drawing books to children and Kothari aunty gave them pencils and other stuff . My parents financed the whole workshop. Whole in whole , the workshop  was beyond expectations… & my experience…. Ah! I am short of words now J